One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he’s lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!”, says the leopard, “That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

“Where’s that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Best,
John

The hardware engineer goes first. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me.” The genie grants him his wish and sends him on off to St. Thomas.

The software engineer is next. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me.” The genie grants him his wish and sends him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it’s the project manager’s turn. “And what would your wish be?” asked the genie. “I want them both back after lunch” replied the project manager.

2nd Woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?

1st Woman: I froze to death.

2nd Woman: How horrible!

1st Woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
began to get warm and sleepy and finally died a peaceful death. What
about you?

2nd Woman: I died of a massive heart attack I suspected my husband was
cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead I
found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st Woman: So what happened?

2nd Woman: I was so sure there was another woman somewhere that I
started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and
searched and then down into the basement. I went through each closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked
everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

1st Woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer……..We’d both
still be alive.

He tells him, “If I’m not back in four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.”

The husband leaves on horseback and about half an hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend.

“What’s wrong?”, he asks.

“You gave me the wrong key.

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Teresa Volpe?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capelli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?”

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned! and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

“4 months vacation and five good leads.”

John

I don’t mean to embarrass her. She already has shown me in eight years that she’s going to grow into a confident, beautiful, sophisticated young woman. But right now she makes me laugh every time she does that, and yes, shake my head a little… She is definitely my kid. LOL